Thursday, June 29, 2006

walking towards the mountain


Rinjani. On the way up to basecamp at 2100m above sea level. All we can see is an endless stretch of grass. Sun was beating high up and many of us were starting to feel the heat. All of sudden this puff of cloud just rolled across from the left.
Beautiful.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Fever

A little fluctuation of the body temperature, by one and a half degrees higher, can immobilise one completely. So read the mantra on Homeostasis which I am perfectly aware of.

Am experiencing it firsthand again after a long while.

Had been holding back a bug since the climb from Lombok and happily dived back into work; school, friend's wedding and volunteer stuff, without listening to the little aches and protests in my body. And so now I am paying for it. Since Sunday, had been drifting in and out of conciousness, nerves were raw, every sound too loud, every contact too painful, every breeze too cold. You just huddle in your blanket but you can't sleep because so many things were wandering through your hyperactive heated brain.

Just hope I am well enough to go back tomorrow.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Teacher Man - Frank McCourt


Chanced across this book, Teacher Man, when I went visiting Borders. Was adjusting back to urban life after the rolling hills, wide open skies, silent crisp fresh air from Lombok. Its a book about teaching. A chronicle of Mr McCourt's 30 years of high school teaching. Just perfect for someone who just started off. 2 years into teaching 10 classes of hyperactive girls, is there anything I can gleam from his experience? I received a copy of Angela's Ashes as a birthday present years back, but laid it aside, figuring that I was depressed ebough already with my thesis than to sink further in it. Maybe its time to read the book now.

Here's a glimpse of the amazing prose of McCourt and how he struck a chord with me.

... f I hadn't written Angela's Ashes I would have died begging, Just one more year, God, just one more year because this book is the one thing I want to do in my life, what's left of it. I never dreamed it would be a best-seller. I hoped it would sit on booksellers' shelves while I lurked in the bookshop and watched beautiful women turn pages and shed the occasional tear. They'd buy the book, of course, take it home, loll on divans and read my story while sipping herbal tea or a fine sherry. They'd order copies for all their friends.

In 'Tis I wrote about my life in America and how I became a teacher. After it was published I had the nagging feeling I'd given teaching short shrift. In America, doctors, lawyers, generals, actors, television people and politicians are admired and rewarded. Not teachers. Teaching is the downstairs maid of professions. Teachers are told to use the service door or go around the back. They are congratulated on having ATTO (All That Time Off). They are spoken of patronizingly and patted, retroactively, on their silvery locks. Oh, yes, I had an English teacher, Miss Smith, who really inspired me. I'll never forget dear old Miss Smith. She used to say that if she reached one child in her forty years of teaching it would make it all worthwhile. She'd die happy. The inspiring English teacher then fades into gray shadows to eke out her days on a penny-pinching pension, dreaming of the one child she might have reached. Dream on, teacher. You will not be celebrated.

You think you'll walk into the classroom, stand a moment, wait for silence, watch while they open notebooks and click pens, tell them your name, write it on the board, proceed to teach.

On your desk you have the English course of study provided by the school. You'll teach spelling, vocabulary, grammar, reading comprehension, composition, literature.

You can't wait to get to the literature. You'll have lively discussions about poems, plays, essays, novels, short stories. The hands of one hundred and seventy students will quiver in the air and they'll call out, Mr. McCourt, me, me, I wanna say something.

You hope they'll want to say something. You don't want them to sit gawking while you struggle to keep a lesson alive.

You'll feast on the bodies of English and American literature. What a time you'll have with Carlyle and Arnold, Emerson and Thoreau. You can't wait to get to Shelley, Keats and Byron and good old Walt Whitman. Your classes will love all that romanticism and rebellion, all that defiance. You'll love it yourself, because, deep down and in your dreams, you're a wild romantic. You see yourself on the barricades.

Principals and other figures of authority passing in the hallways will hear sounds of excitement from your room. They'll peer through the door window in wonder at all the raised hands, the eagerness and excitement on the faces of these boys and girls, these plumbers, electricians, beauticians, carpenters, mechanics, typists, machinists.

You'll be nominated for awards: Teacher of the Year, Teacher of the Century. You'll be invited to Washington. Eisenhower will shake your hand. Newspapers will ask you, a mere teacher, for your opinion on education. This will be big news: A teacher asked for his opinion on education. Wow. You'll be on television.

Television.

Imagine: A teacher on television.

They'll fly you to Hollywood, where you'll star in movies about your own life. Humble beginnings, miserable childhood, problems with the church (which you bravely defied), images of you solitary in a corner, reading by candlelight: Chaucer, Shakespeare, Austen, Dickens. You there in the corner blinking with your poor diseased eyes, bravely reading till your mother pulls the candle away from you, tells you if you don't stop the two eyes will fall out of your head entirely. You plead for the candle back, you have only a hundred pages left in Dombey and Son, and she says, No, I don't want to be leading you around Limerick with people asking how you went blind when a year ago you were kicking a ball with the best of them.

You say yes to your mother because you know the song:

A mother's love is a blessing
No matter where you go
Keep her while you have her
You'll miss her when she's gone.

Besides, you could never talk back to a movie mother played by one of those old Irish actresses, Sarah Allgood or Una O'Connor, with their sharp tongues and their suffering faces. Your own mother had a powerful hurt look, too, but there's nothing like seeing it on the big screen in black and white or living color.

Your father could be played by Clark Gable except that a) he might not be able to handle your father's North of Ireland accent and b) it would be a terrible comedown from Gone With the Wind, which, you remember, was banned in Ireland because, it is said, Rhett Butler carried his own wife, Scarlett, up the stairs and into bed, which upset the film censors in Dublin and caused them to ban the film entirely. No, you'd need someone else as your father because the Irish censors would be watching closely and you'd be badly disappointed if the people in Limerick, your city, and the rest of Ireland were denied the opportunity of seeing the story of your miserable childhood and subsequent triumph as teacher and movie star.
Copyright © 2005 by Green Peril Corp.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Rinjani

Only slept for 2 hours since Friday. So will revise this when I am more awake.


The beginning of the trek was beautiful. Walked through fields cast golden by the rising sun.


Clear blue skies for the first day. The moon was still visible even with the Sun up. Amazing experience.


Beautiful clouds on the way up.


Crater Rim - our camp is just on the edge of the crater. Really beautiful.


Stars over our heads at night. Amazing.


We woke up at 2am to make the summit climb. Rinjani was kind enough to provide us with a safe passage up.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

That's Amore - to Odac

To Odac, thanks for Rinjani. Remember and cherish the memories and the lessons learnt. Lets be light from stars and continue shining even after we die out.

Dean Martin - That's Amore

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here's what they say

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore

(When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore
Lucky fella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore, (amore)
That's amore

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Back

Back from Rinjani. It was really an eventful trip. I was very glad to once again to accompany odac for their yearly trek. This time round the mountain we scaled was a 3700m live volcano. The terrain was different, the soil was crumbly and dusty, the river beds, dry during June, was filled with black dust and pebbles. If you look at them closely, you'll see shiny specks of mineral catching the light, much like small diamond fragments. The trek up to crater rim base camp was fun, filled with jokes and laughter. Walking under the clear blue sky, enjoying the silent tranquil air and savoring the feeling of walking amongst the clouds was really one experience I will not forget.

We hit base camp at crater rim and prepared for summit push at 2am. It was then I had the most trying experience. Was down with food poisoning and fever halfway up the trek. The pain in the stomach made walking difficult. Under the cold wind, I gradually lost strength. Every step up was a great exertion. As I sat down to recover my breath, it was really disheartening to see the rest of the team slowly pulling away and getting closer to the summit. Try as I might, I seem rooted to the same spot.

The mind start to play tricks when one is at his limit. You take longer breaks, you start telling yourself that this slope is good enough, there is no need to go to the summit. You should conserve energy for the journey back.

Saw my friend heading down towards me. It was when I got up and started climbing again. After a few laborious steps I had to sit down again. A hand reached out and started pulling me up. In the effort not to tire my friend further, I started to make my way up again. Bearing the pain, willing my limbs to move.

It is amazing how having someone beside you can push you further. Sometimes in our lives, we need this push from someone else, then we can accomplish things we would not have imagined doing alone.

This climb is something like this.

Photos next time.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Always on your side

Nice song sent by a nice neighbour (TIWR). So shall post it up.

Always on your side - Sting and Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side


Going to Rinjani tomorrow. Till then.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

break

Submission of manuscipt seemed eons ago. The feeling of exhilaration as you walked out of the student affairs office was sweet. Went for a coffee at the local cafeteria. Took out my powerbook for a quick viewing of email and messages, feeling strange that I do not have to open up my manuscript document for editing, now the possibilities are endless. All the things which I have postponed and delayed in view of my masters project can finally be back on track.

Main focus now is on overseas service learning. A few things to get in order and started. Cambodia is a harsh beautiful and simplistic place. It'll be a challenge for the team in Novemeber. But I think we will be able to get things going.

Still have about 1 week left from the break, where I need to clear a fair bit of work. But should be able to do it. So far I am luxuriating in the process of being able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee in the relative quiet of my house. Everyone is gone, the city is just waking up to another day and my only link to the rest of the world is my mac and the radio in the background. And of course the air permeated by the nice smell of coffee.

Sometimes you really don't need to go to far off places to get away, just need to create a space for yourself. Think I am going to turn into a hermit. This is just too enjoyable.

Going off to Gunung Rinjani next week. It lies along the Wallace's Line, this abrupt and inexplicable split between the asian and australian flora and fauna. Lombok lies on the eastern side of the line. Which means we will be experiencing australian flora on the island. As far as I can know now, the most exotic will be the edelweiss or bunga abadi with the locals. It will be an exciting trip and a good way to start the second half of the year.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Cambodia




Back from a short recce trip to Cambodia. I learnt so much. Will write more soon but for now photos.